Gems of Wisdom

I just finished reading this. A Total Waste of Make-up - Kim Gruenenfelder
And it is a must-read, must-buy book. It will make you laugh and at times go, "that is so true/real!".

http://www.atotalwasteofmakeup.com

Ok, I admit what caught my attention was obviously the word "make-up", especially since I have become somewhat a makeup junkie (but still nowhere as some of my pals ;p). Flip to the back, and it seemed interesting.

"Never ask a single person if they're seeing anyone special; an unemployed person if they've found a job, or a married couple when they're planning to have children. You're not making conversation. You're starting someone on the road to Prozac." - quote in book

That struck a resonance in me, maybe because I am single and not really seeing anyone special and I was unemployed (but I just got a job offer and will start March 13. Yay!). I continued reading the back and it seemed like a witty, quirky and fun book to read.

There is a description of their experiences in the day spa and I so want to go there. It was fab!

Reviews:
"Charlize 'Charlie' Edwards enjoys her job as a personal assistant to a hot male movie star, but as she turns 30, she finds herself reflecting on and wanting more out of life. Being her younger sister's maid of honor makes her feel old and alone, her family is driving her crazy, and it doesn't help that her best friend and her boss are becoming romantically involved. Convinced that she'll never have children of her own, she writes advice to pass on to a future grandniece-and realizes she knows a lot more than she gives herself credit for. Yet dating again just brings more disappointment and angst: after a seeming Mr. Right goes wrong, she falls head over heels for a gorgeous set photographer she's not even sure likes her. It all comes to a head at her sister's disastrous Las Vegas bachelorette party. Gruenenfelder, a Hollywood screenwriter, knows her setting and her craft. Well-written characters and a wicked sense of humor help this debut stand above the usual chick-lit fare. Recommended for larger fiction collections or where chick lit is popular." - Library Journal

"A personal assistant tries to define the rules of dating in Hollywood. Charlie Edwards spends most of her days tending to the whims of movie star Drew Stanton, whose celebrity supposedly rivals that of Tom Cruise. When she isn't booking his massages and interviewing his personal trainers, Charlie finds time to write observations about life and love in her journal, which is filled with advice meant to be passed along to her future great-grandniece. This burst of introspection is the result of Charlie's looming 30th birthday-to be celebrated sans boyfriend. To make matters worse, her little sister, Andy, is beating her down the aisle. Forced to put dreams of love on hold, Charlie musters the necessary enthusiasm to support Andy. Thankfully, she has two loyal girlfriends with whom to share her frustrations-the three hit the town, reveal their vulnerabilities and regale each other with dating horror stories. The honesty of emotion they share is refreshing. Gruenenfelder's debut supplies a splendid vacation from reality. At times better than re-runs of your favorite Friends episodes." - Kirkus Reviews

My thoughts:
It is a wickedly funny book filled with moments where every girl can attest to. The pitfalls and highs of dating. The wonderful support of her girlfriends and the wacky family characters make it a good read. I will want to share some "advice" from the book, which is probably universal and everyone has probably heard them before from their friends/family.

Gems of Wisdom (words in brackets are mine :p) :
Don't wait by the phone.

Don't wait by the phone! Ever! If you do, the guy you like won't call. Your mother (or your friend, sister, brother, boss, etc) will!

Never expect anyone to take care of you financially.

If you've been dating someone for a year, you know if you want to marry them or not. Fish or cut bait. Either get married, or set them free. And if a man you've dated for a year hasn't proposed - definitely cut bait.

Never subject your daughter to your wedding dress. Styles have changed.

Don't spend your whole life looking forward to your wedding day. Don't spend a year's salary paying for your wedding day. It's just a day. Youwill spend more time writing a term paper than you will at your wedding reception.

This may be sexist, but...when dating, always remember the treasure doesn't do the hunting.

When men say they'll call you, what they usually mean is "good-bye."
(Hands up, those men who said that and mean that.)

Repeat this mantra when down about men: "I don't need a lover, just several really close friends."
(Very true, close good friends helped me thru so many times. Thank you.)

If a man gives you three different ways to get in touch with him, he's interested in you. This is not rocket science. Don't play dumb.

Women are not capable of having "fuckbuddies." It's a concept men came up with. Don't buy the hype.

When it comes to finding a man in a bar, remeber: The odds are good but the goods are odd.
(this is a good one. lol)

Never start a fight with a drunk. Verbal or otherwise.

If a man calls you at 3am, he is giving you what we in the 00s called a "booty call." He wants only one thing - do not give it to him. Have some self-respect.

The heart has a mind of its own.
(Sigh...another sad true fact)

There's no such thing as free sex. Eventually you pay for it.
(be it emotionally or financially, I guess)

There's no such thing as a perfect man.

Nothing good has ever come from a conversation that begins with "We need to talk." And, frankly, what it really means is, "You need to listen."

Don't go out with a man just because he looks good on paper. You are not kissing paper.

Don't ever be afraid to be alone.
(Very sound advice - learn to appreciate your own company)

Some days are a total waste of make-up.

Everything happens for a reason.

Never judge people by who they date - your own sex life is confusing enough without trying to figure out everyone else's.

Be yourself. Don't try to impress anyone. You're enough on your own.

Always take responsibility for your actions.

Never ask a guy about his old girlfriends.
(very hard not to do so :p)

Don't talk to new guys after 1am. If he hasn't made the move before then, he's out.
Don't go for the cutest guy in the room. If he says he doesn't have a girlfriend, he's lying. Or gay.

Advice is like a sandwich. If you know someone is hungry, you can offer them a sandwich. They may even ask for a sandwich. But if you put the sandwich in front of them, and they don't eat it, there's nothing you can do. You can't force someone to eat a sandwich.

Don't do anything in your life just to get someone else's approval. Yours is the only one that matters. (It is your life. Live it with no regrets!)

No matter how you feel, or what you've done, take comfort in knowing that someone, somewhere, has been in the same position you're in, and has felt all the same feelings are you are feeling right now.
(another gem.)

On your first date, see how he treats the waiter. That's how he'll be treating you in six months.

Never throw good money after bad. And when it comes to dating, never throw good time after bad. Cut your losses! Dump the bastard.

You won't meet your future husband in a bar.

No matter who you are, and what's going on in your life, there's always someone out there worse off than you.

When someone presents you with a gift, no matter how strange, do not respond with "Huh?" "Yikes!" or "What the hell is it?"

Buy real estate. They're not making any more land.
(Except Singapore where they reclaim new land. Haha)

No one likes to be judged. If you're going to advise someone, do it without judgment.

Don't do something just because everyone else is doing it.
(This is so familiar - if your friends jump off the bridge, will you jump off too? :p)

You should never have a job that you hate so much you think "Thank God It's Friday" every week of your life.

Ignorance isn't really bliss. But some days, it's just easier.

Money can't buy happiness. But it sure can rent it for a while.
(My fave. So true. )

Never trust a man who says, "I just want you to be happy." What it really means is "I just want you to be happy - so that I can get whatever it is that will make me happy."

It is rude to ask a woman if she is pregnant. But it is a death wish to answer "yes" if a woman asks, "Do I look pregnant?"

When a friend is in pain, usually all you need to do is shut up and listen.
(another so true advice)

A man who claims he is "still technically married" is married. Get the hell away from him.

Men who chase married women, or women in a serious relationship, do so to avoid commitment. This is why, when you finally start dating someone after a long dry spell, suddenly the men come out of the woodwork.
(This works both ways too)

If you ask a man if he has a girlfriend, and his answer is "No, yes, I don't know," that means "yes." Or, at the very least, the woman he's seeing has a boyfriend - him.

Men aren't stupid, and you don't need a complicated set of rules to find a good one who loves you. Here's the only rule you need: if a man loves you, he will do anything he can to keep you around. Anything.
(Very true. Men will do anything when they really want something)

Breaking up is hard to do. Do it anyway.

If you ever (God forbid) need to check into a detox center, skip Betty Ford. Spend the same amount of money and check into a fabulous hotel, spend your days at the pool, and order lots of room service. You'll feel so refreshed and spoiled, you won't need drugs or booze.
(alternatively go to a spa every day)

When men say they don't want to talk about it, what they really mean is - they don't want to talk about it.
(kinda the opposite for women, just that we are trying to find the correct phrase)

Wow! That is a long list. There are more in the book, but these are some/plenty of my favorites.